The comedy started before the film even started. The previews they chose, though "fitting the genre" according to someone's PR department, were pathetically laughable. There was one for Saw 6. Seriously, a sixth one! Even though the concept of the movie has been seemingly dead since the first one, they decided to let it rot in the corner instead of give it a dignified burial. As if the Saw franchise had any dignity anyways, they were awful. I'm sure this rerun is going to be just as contrived as the last five. Come on, Dick Cheney is no longer vice president, we don't need to make any more of his wet dreams into movies. Thank you, moving on.
Next, there was a preview for the "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake. I wasn't going to give it a chance in the first place, considering I'm tired of watching my favorite movies get shattered to oblivion. But, one name makes me want to avoid this like the plague; Michael Bay. Enough said.
Now with those pathetic attempts to keep my attention now over, the movie began. Right from the gate, the film seemed to say to you "Make sure you got your ass-kickin' chonies on, you're in for one hell of a ride." How does it achieve this, you ask? By pummeling you with "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica as the world as we know it gets thrust into Zombie hell! Seeing as how I will always envision things like a zombie going through a windshield and even a tassel-adorned zombie stripper chasing a fat guy, singles in hand, down the street whenever I hear this song again, I would say that there would have been no better song to open the film with. With that now permanently burned into my psyche, I said to myself "this is gonna be fun!"
The first part of the film introduced our main protagonist, played by Jesse Eisenberg, going over his rules for zombie apocalypse survival. For example, #1 is Cardio. The need for this is displayed by a fat man lumbering to get away from his zombie pursuer across a football field. Let's just say he doesn't get a first down, if you catch my drift. The implementation of these rules seems to give a nod to The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, which gives them bonus points in my book. Throughout the entire film, these rules are referred to in a creative and unspoken fashion; by becoming a part of the backgrounds the rules reflect. Fourth-wall shattering with pinpoint timing accentuated the already-present humor with a sneering sardonicism that I immediately latched to!
After our hero's modus operandi has been established, he runs into Woody Harrelson's character, who is referred to only by the city he's headed for, Tallahassee. Rolling in a modified Escalade with a "3" painted on the side that is packed with weapons and booze, you would have never guessed his goal is to find the world's remaining Twinkies. When they meet, he decided to dub our milquetoast lead with a similar moniker, Columbus, since he is headed to Columbus, Ohio to see if his parents are still alive. Though annoyed by his awkward geekiness, he decides to take Columbus eastward.
In their journey for shelter from the Hell that surrounds them and the world's supply of MacGuffins, er, I mean Twinkies, they run into a young woman and her little sister (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin, known later in the film as Wichita and Little Rock). Through playing on our heroes' sympathies, they end up screwing Tallahassee and Columbus out of their weapons and their vehicle. They didn't just do that once, but then twice, then a THIRD TIME! The first two times were understandable, but Columbus starts getting the hots for Wichita. Look, I'm a sucker for a pretty face, but if you screw me over during the Zombie apocalypse, you'd be in the sight of my 12-gauge as much as any of those undead motherfuckers would be.
This film is filled with ripping, gore-soaked comedy, slick, shock-and-awe style action, genuine human emotion, sarcasm, zombies, and BILL MURRAY! That's right, I said Bill Murray, and his own brand of "West Coast hospitality." That's all I'll say there.
Some people will notice a problem with the development of the characters of Wichita and Little Rock. With how their characters were behaving through the better part of the film, they were usually the kind that would be "Marked for Death" within the typified horror movie rubric. It wasn't till about the third act that they started to deviate from their "fate," as it were. Until their semi-jagged transition, I wouldn't have shed a tear if they became Zombie Chow. Another deviation from the rubric is that all of our protagonists survive. Then again, it is not a typical "horror" film, it is a horror-comedy. And a horror-comedy that deserves a spot right next to Shaun of the Dead in my DVD collection upon its release.
In my opinion, this falls more in line with classic horror films, though it breaks some of the ground rules that the classics put into place. Why does it? For one, most of the classics have a hint of kitsch to them, from Romero to Raimi, Landis and Fulci. From over-the-top kills in a Fulci or Argento, to sheer Schlock, they all had a taste of kitsch.
All in all, this film has some of the funniest and coolest zombie killings in years. Who knew you could get bad-ass lessons from Woody Harrelson? I already sent in my application to the Woody Harrelson School of Zombie Killing and General Bad-Assery. Seriously, his gunplay is enough to make you want to throw out your copy of The Matrix. Also, they didn't have to Wachowski the shit out of it to make it look cool. Kudos on a job well done.
I highly recommend this movie. Like comedy? You'll like Zombieland. Like horror? You'll like Zombieland. Like both... okay, you get the picture. This is also a great date movie. Don't waste 80 minutes with the unrealistic notion of falling in love, spend that time with the unrealistic notion of surviving the scourge of the undead... and falling in love!
I give this film 4 3/4 out of 5 machetes!
Now, go see Zombieland! You might learn something about survival!
~The Bat /\V/\
